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is 100% sure that you are looking at my status. (:
The block button is just the adult version of sticking your fingers in your ears and repeating "I can`t hear you" over and over
I love to do housework in the nude. Unfortunately for the neighbours, today I`m roofing.
There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people.
The only time I`ve ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.
In lieu of a gift I liked a couple of charities on FB in your honour
Highschool Reunion? What for ? I`m on Facebook. I already know who got fat.
What are nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What are nuts on the chest? Chestnuts. What are nuts against a chin? Blow job.
Very few things upset my wife. So, it makes me feel rather special to be one of them.
You actually have friends? Yeah bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.
Why is it that whenever you dial a wrong number, somebody always answers?
YOU KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!
Porn & love songs. Destroying reality forever.
I am a brilliant man, I just sometimes can`t remember where I parked my car.
My stove top knob reads, LO | 2 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 10 | HI......so what is Med-High, Medium Low?...They just need to lay it out for me in numbers! Like "set stove top to 8." no wait, 9.? Food manufacturerers and stove manufactuerers need to get toghether on this! So let me see,..... (me thinking)....if ten is high...5 is medium that means 7.5..... WAIT!.....low would be 0 so HI would be 12???....WTF!!! forget about simmer!........HEY KIDS! WHO WANTS PIZZA!