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Instead of cars warning us of stupid things, like the door is open, it should tell us useful things, like there`s a cop hiding in the bushes
I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don`t have great childing skills either.
Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
Just saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster, I had to step in, They couldn`t even lift him, We high-fived & laughed
I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep
Dear God, thank you for all the animals, and plants, and insects, but were spiders really necessary?
Buying a smart car seems like a good idea until you hit a squirrel and flip over a few times.
Spontaneity is great ... as long as I have a plan.
Sometimes I think I’m too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop.
No matter how many lives you have in Candy Crush, you’ll still never get your own back.
I`m making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I`m accurate, how do you spell your name again?
The beeping noise from microwave is always 100x’s louder at night.
I`m having an out of money experience.
So many fun things to say ... too many relatives on Facebook to post!
Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life ... Avoiding them