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I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
The sight of naked cleavage reduces a man`s ability to reason by 50% ... Per boob.
Every Instagram caption should just be, "ARE YOU JEALOUS OF MY LIFE YET??"
ALERT: Missing Unicorn...if you find it, you`re probably high
Spontaneity is great ... as long as I have a plan.
I hate that little line of dirt that I can never get into the dust pan.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
OK. So I took the road less traveled. Now where the hell am I?
I have good taste, I just don`t have the money to prove it.
The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I fart in my sleep.
I just wanna find a girl who loves me for my money. That way I wouldn`t feel bad for loving her for her body.