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i honestly hate saying sorry but when i do i really mean it :-)
Little to no thought was put into this status.
Age has its advantages. Too bad I can`t remember what they are.
The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
Maybe the reason the world keeps making idiots famous is because 75% of the world is made up of idiots.
You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.
You know you`re married when you find her sexier with clothes on.
I ordered some bubble wrap online. It arrived in a box surrounded by packing peanuts.
I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it?
I hope when the machines take over the world they start by fixing my cable.
People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous
I`d take a stupid dog over a stupid person any day.
Ladies, stop looking for a guy to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job
Dieting Tip, 1. Make a list of people who have a problem with your weight, 2. Cut them out of your life. 3. Enjoy having lost Hundreds of pounds of Idiots.
I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now.