Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
OK. So I danced like no one was watching. Anyone know a good lawyer?
No matter what the product, a good way to throw off an aggressive salesman is to interrupt him and ask, “Yes, but does it work on cats?”
If I was Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, "That`s one small step for man," would have been, "Screw you every girl who ever shot me down!"
Don`t ``Wine and dine`` me ... ``Champagne`` me ... step it up a notch
If you don’t feel just a little bit of shame after the weekend… you’re not doing it right.
I think when a restaurant has "lobster celebration" it is very misleading to the lobster.
I could of sworn my pillow`s a hairdreeser...coz I always wake up with the craziest hairstyles!! :D
If your problem can`t be solved by me saying "damn" and nodding a lot, then you shouldn`t come to me for help.
Roses are red and sometimes they`re thorny, when I think of you, I get really ...............
Today is National animals day, please take a moment to remember your ex :p:p:p.
Because it`s the season to give thanks, I would just like to say....you`re welcome.
People be like: "Awe baby you make me so happy." But the second you break up they be like, "finally happy."
I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..
You know that look women get when they want sex ? ..........me neither.