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The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
I learned how to kiss passionately by practicing on my hand, but now it just uses me for sex.
I don`t know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
I don’t know why Tampax and Hershey have not joined forces yet. Taping a pack of Reese’s to a box of tampons could literally save lives.
My wife always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
Married people always ask when you’re getting married like they get points for recruiting to their club of misery.
Never judge a girl`s boob size by their jacket.
Just a word of advice for all you single guys having a hard time out there, Forget the clubs, forget the churches, forget the online dating sites, as the best places to meet single women are the freezer section and down the cat food isle.....
You move into my house, delete all my porn, decorate every wall with rooster pictures, talk incessantly, leave hair everywhere and are too tired for sex?? Sounds great, let`s do it!!
The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries
Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven`t pissed in 8 hrs
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?
I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.