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Delete cookies? Why on Earth would I want to do that?! I LOVE COOKIES
To the guys complaining about lack of sex from their woman: supply & demand. Supply better product, they`ll demand it more. -Bfanch
Sometimes “Girl`s night out” means she has just taken her bra off
Does eating a gas station hot dog counts as a suicide attempt.
I`m going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn`t enough
Inventor of camping: "Hey, let`s go pretend to be homeless."
I`m probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
When I count calories it involves a bunch of multiplication.
Driving isn’t even in the top 5 things I’m thinking about when I’m driving.
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
My most heavily used kitchen appliance is a fire extinguisher.
If booze isn`t the answer, then your question sucks.
Lets just skip the fight and go right to the make-up sex.
Not everyone understands my laundry method. It`s simple. If it`s clean, it`s on the floor. If it`s dirty, it`s on the floor over there.