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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
I feel ready to face the world as a responsible adult now that I`ve taken today`s gummy vitamins.
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level.
I`m gaining weight for my role as "Before picture"
Crap, my Internet has been down for 4 days ...Probably because my neighbors moved 4 days ago.
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
Just tried to parallel park. 5 people are injured, 3 critical, 6 missing. The casualties continue to mount...
says if you don`t like the way I live my life, than there is some good news... you aren`t me!!
*puts selfie on top of christmas tree because I am the star*
I can catch a speeding bullet- only once.
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store clerk asked to come back soon?
I’m not a β€œstalker”. I want to make sure you’re okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
"Sir your phone`s ringing." "Yeah, phones do that."
I organized a threesome last night....there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time