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That awkward moment when there`s not a single awkward moment
Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
Why is it that everyone you hate has such a better job than you?
I don`t have a smartphone I have a phone that shows potential but doesn`t apply itself
I watch CSI for the great tips they give out.
just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
Fact: 96% of all arguments end with somebody saying “Google that shit!”
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible…but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell!
Lucky Charms should be 98% Marshmallows and 2% of that other sh*t.
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)
You know you`re a mom when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.