Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don`t know what you`re missing.
So after an hour of playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, we decided to call it a tie. Good game, mirror!
My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
I wish more of my handcuff stories involved sex instead of police officers.
One of my biggest fears is that my car secretly records me singing.
In space they just call it "Jam"
My mother might be right.. I was the reason someone invented birth control.
My girlfriend just accused me of being unfaithful. I told her that is ridiculous and that she is starting to sound like my wife.
Of course I can keep a secret. It’s the people I tell it to who can’t.
Look, all I`m saying is that the dinosaurs didn`t drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
Seems like I can`t go anywhere in my house without somebody recognizing me.
Nice try blocked number, but I don`t even answer my phone when I know who`s calling.
I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don`t think they`re ugly or something.
Whenever I receive a text saying bahaha, I like to believe you are a sheep on drugs.