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I bet the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial doesn`t ever ride his motorcycle on Martin Luther King Blvd in any town.
The women at this gym act like nobody’s ever tried taking their measurements before.
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying free samples at the grocery store. Just make sure they’re samples. And free. And it’s a grocery store.
I hate hanging out with MC Hammer, he never let`s me touch anything.
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
How to fall down stairs: Step 1 Step 6 Step 7,8,9,11
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket .. I´d miss you alot and think of you often.
Shout out to the post office for delivering my recycling to me every day.
My love is like a candle, If you forget about me, I`ll burn your frikin house down!
1. OMG will this ever end? 2. OMG will this ever end? 3. OMG will this ever end? - top 3 things on my mind when I`m in a conversation
The bad news is I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. The good news is I no longer give a crap.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
You seem to have a good grip on reality. You`re new here, aren`t you?
I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone.