Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m amazed at how much better my life has been since the iOS 7 update. I bet it would be even better if I owned an iPhone.
I don`t know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
Im not sure Im comfortable with the fact that there is now a bunch of people in white coats furiously scribbling notes behind a big glass window while im talking to my therapist. Im suppose to just "ignore" them.
Whenever someone ends their status with "LOL" I know it`s a repost, cuz...who the hell laughs at their own statuses? LMAO!
Some things are better left unsaid, but I`m probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway.
went to vegas: put a coin in the machine and a prize came out, put another coin and another prize came out...problem is i don`t know what to do with all these empty cans now.
"Ramen". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer
So apparently there are two types of white towels in my house. Ones to dry off and ones to touch if you want your fingers broke.
I just realised that sex is like air..its not important unless you are not getting any.
Be careful on how tough you are on your kids....Strict parents create sneaky children.
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
Peppermint schnapps might seem like a ridiculous drink, but nobody at work ever complains about my breath.
Here, take my hand. Now slap yourself with it.