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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
Dear food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.
SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
I heard lots of bongo noises coming from my loft last night. It sounded very Drum Attic.
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
To get laid is good. To get off is good. To get laid off is bad.
I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
Hit me with your pet shark #RuinAn80sSong
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible.
Maybelline claims to make eyelashes appear three times longer…..I think they should start making condoms.
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what`s going on and there`s a lot of wine drinking.
I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.
People would believe everything I say.. if it wasn`t for everything I say.
Before bed, my Dad would always say, "OK son, time to hit the sack." Not sure how me punching him in the balls helped him sleep, but hey, that’s my Dad for ya.