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People who can finish a shampoo bottle at the same time as their conditioner are truly ninja`s.
I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don`t know whose side I`m on.
If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
Calm down mechanic guy. Just here for an oil change. If I wanted to know about all the other shit wrong with my car I`d turn the radio down.
When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?
Donβt look unless youβre prepared to see.
Why isn`t Hungary`s capital city called "Very"
My wife made me coffee this morning & winked at me when she handed me the cup. I`ve never been more scared of a drink in all my life.
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
Apologising does not mean you are wrong and the other person is right, it just means you value your relationship more than your ego.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness."
A man who scratches his butt should not bite fingernails!
I just keep telling myself you guys don`t have sex either.
Gluten free. Dairy free. Fat Free. I love the wine diet!
Youβd think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.