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People should mute themselves on conference calls when they are crossing a battlefield and killing enemies to get to the next level.
Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
I may or may not have just tried unlocking the wrong car for 15 minutes.
I don`t always agree with everything I say. :)
Thinking about moving to Alabama just so I don’t have to scroll through all those other states when I sign up for websites.
This beer tastes like I’m going to text you later.
"Of course you`re the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder" - alcohol
If cockroaches can survive atomic bombs and chemical warfare, what the f*ck is in a can of Raid?
I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Adam & Eve.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.
These energy drinks make sitting on the couch so much more exciting.
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
I pulled my wife`s panties to the side.......then put the rest of her socks in the drawer.
With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.