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Welcome to Alzheimer`s Club. I see a lot of new faces today.
I send more time looking for porn than actually watching it.
How did human beings express empathy before the phrase "that sucks" was coined?
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
After watching copious amounts of crime dramas I`ve come to the conclusion that serial killers only target women who wear matching bra and pantie sets. Feeling much safer now.
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
Seems like we would be just fine with about half as many types of pasta
That awkward moment when a homeless person walks up to you at a Coinstar machine.
I like to fill my medicine cabinet with marbles before I invite people over.
Time to clean the house. Good thing I took that delegation class at work and I have 2 kids. This is going to be fun
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs.
Sometimes when it rains I go outside with a cocktail umbrella and pretend I`m a Giant.
Just because I’m smiling, doesn’t mean I don’t want to hit you in the face.
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.