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Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
My dad taught me righty tighty, lefty loosie.... that`s why I never dated left handed chicks.
HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
"Everybody freeze!" -December
Why do crutons come in resealable bags? Are we really worried about them going stale?
People who say `expresso` instead of `espresso,` may I axe you to please stop? Thanx.
I would eat a lot more healthy food if it required no preparation or stayed fresh as long as junk food.
I´m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
I enjoy romantic scrolls up and down your timeline.
Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that
Instead of laughing my a$$ off, I`m going to start laughing my stomach off. I`d rather lose that.
Being an American is awesome. The end.
When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. And that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
Sorry, Sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours
if sexyness, kindness, sweetness was a crime, You would be the world`s most wanted