Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve gotten to that age where nothing fits right anymore. Even my birthday suit looks like it needs ironing...
This bank pen tastes like it`s been in a lot of other people`s mouths
Thought of the day! Calling me a crazy bitch will only encourage me to prove you right...
People are so ungrateful. No one ever thanks me for having the patience not to kill them.
May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I`m home alone and my power goes out.
Would you mind going with me to my next Psychologist appointment? He thinks I`m making you up.
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
As i get older i realize I do a LOT more YOGA...attempting to tie my shoelaces
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
Just found out my birthday is the same day I was born... Life is crazy...
9/10 students agree that someone got lost on the field trip
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.
Somebody needs to teach opportunity how to use a doorbell.