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Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
With a great a$$ comes great responsibility!
Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
Please drink responsibly this weekend and don`t drink and dri......Wait this is Facebook, most of you probably won`t leave the house! ... Good talk!
Legalizing same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
Listening to the voices in my head, I’ve concluded that they’re having more fun than me.
When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights.
A young man gets sent to jail,and gets put into a jail cell with a convict the size of the Incredible Hulk. After lights out, he hears a whisper from the top bunk."Let`s play Mommy and Daddy. Who do you wanna be?" Thinking quick, the man says "daddy." "Then come up here and suck Mommy`s d!ck."
Feeling pretty good about myself today so I`m going to go meet up with an ex-girlfriend to bring me back down to normal
I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.
Why does using a straw make it so much harder to admit there’s no more soda?
Mouth the word " vacuum" to a stranger & see what happens.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets.