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I only say “bless you” twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume you cant be blessed and you’re a demon who must be destroyed.
In today`s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
The phrase “Don’t take this the wrong way.” has a zero percent success rate.
I have a life outside of internet, it involves charging my phone.
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
Found out today you`re supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at the waffle house... just trying to help.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to .... unless your in prison!!!
The day I understand females will be the day i`ll be officially known as Jesus
"Lets hang out sometime" -liars.
Money went much further in the 1980s when you could peel the price stickers off milk cartons and stick them on anything you needed
I hope when I die Charlie Sheen`s life flashes before my eyes.
I wish people`s voices actually sounded the way they do when their spouse or partner imitates them during an argument.
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
gua suka sama kamu
if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.