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I have a hidden talent......I really wish I could find it!
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn`t doing his part of the chores around here
I could write an entire book on excuses... but I have to drop my dog off at the airport.
Note to self: Stop leaving notes to yourself, you never read them anyway...
I found the "one" today! Surprisingly, It`s been on my keyboard all the time.
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
You know you are the ugly one if they ask you to take the photo.
Why do people with the most to say contribute the least?
You ever wonder why wearing no underwear is called “going commando”? It seems to me it wouldn’t be useful in a combat situation.
You know why it`s called almond milk? Cuz you can`t say nut juice with a straight face
I have an eating disorder; I`m about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
Do you ever walk out of a bathroom and want to put a sign on the door that says "I was just peeing It smelled that way when I went in there"
My ID expired so I can only go to the liquor store where they remember me: The one where I asked the cashier out and threw up on the floor.