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President Obama says his daughters need minimum wage jobs to "learn what it means to work." May I suggest the same for members of Congress?
i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
Roses are red, violets are blue. If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
Sometimes I feel like giving up...Then I remember I have a lot of motherf*ckers to prove wrong
You`d be surprised at how many times I`ve gone home, when i hear someone tell me "Go hard or Go home".
Hey, does anyone know which side you`re supposed to wear your fanny pack on? I want to really nail this job interview tomorrow.
If I`m guilty of anything, it`s loving too much. And several outstanding speeding tickets. But mostly loving too much.
Smile. Your enemies hate it.
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
Is it the S or the C that`s silent in scent?
Do transformers have health insurance or car insurance???
I always feel a little kinky whenever the lady at Starbucks asks me if Iād like whipped cream on it.
Facebook is not so bad once you block your family and friends.
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.