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Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants.
A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
Anytime my boss leaves her office, I sneak in there and fart.
It`s not so much that I have to work that bothers me...oh wait, yes it is.
Facebook- to help future generations discover if there`s ever been any mental illness in the family.
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls
Pokémon means a totally different thing if you`re stuck in prison.
When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. And that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka.
I should be ashamed of myself. Lets be clear, I`m not. But I should be.
It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I`m trying to do that & you`re lowering my chances.
The cashier at this self checkout is horrible.
People with no money sure do have a lot of pot.