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I`m at my most judgmental when standing behind someone in a buffet line.
I missed that one episode of The Walking Dead where they show us how the zombies keep everyone`s lawns so freshly mowed.
Don`t forget: it`s very important what strangers on the Internet think about you.
If women really knew what men think, there would be restraining orders on all men.
It’s a strange moment, when you realize that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid.
After how long is it ok to tell your friends that they are imaginary?
I`d like to test the theory that money can`t buy you happiness.
*Knocks on door* Hey open up. You didn`t reply to my last 43 inbox messages & then you updated about a guy who keeps annoying you. You need help?
I read Facebook for the pictures.
My friend told me his girlfriend talks a lot in her sleep..Apparently "I know" was not the right answer...
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
Christmas time always make me blue :-(( and then red, then green, then oh wow.. presents...
Being alive is so expensive.
“Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.
Nothing says you mean business more than putting on a bib before you eat a girl out