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Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
Just in case you are wondering ... I did not go to Jared.
I hope to get to the point in my life where I`m not excited about finding change on the ground.
Never make decisions when you are angry....or horny.
Just found a shopping list in this cart that said, "Beer, wine, crap like that", so apparently my soulmate is still out there.
I hate that feeling when you feel you wrote something good on facebook and then nobody likes your status. Depressing... :(
If you respond to coworkers asking how your weekend was with turkey noises, they leave you alone.
If by "help decorate the tree" you mean drinking beer on the couch yelling out everything you`re doing wrong, then yeah, count me in.
Neighbor said hi again. I`m just gonna move
Do people who exercise not know about ice cream and Netflix?
Ahhh..Sunday..the biggest decision of the day...to bathe or not to bathe.
I just kicked a can in my driveway and somehow ended up with a goal against Brazil.
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
My anger management class pisses me off