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I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo
If I agree with you, we would both be wrong.
When I die, I want people to say, "That guy owed me a lot of money"
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
I`m leaving my body to science fiction
If you can`t celebrate Valentine`s Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like...
I have a black belt in leather
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
"If Donald Duck doesn`t have to wear pants than neither do I!"- Me getting drunk at Disney World.
My New Years Eve = Hangover 4
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "THERES ONE." -same guy, you`re british.
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you`re nuts.
Instead of spending $2,000 on a purse, some of you ladies should use the money for therapy sessions.