Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When a bird bangs into your window, do you wonder if God is playing angry birds
Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don`t make a right. Tomorrow I`m going to try three.
My poor neighbour suffered a stroke today...I must remember to close the blinds before getting naked.
Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing
Girls probably spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
If history repeats itself, I´m totally getting a dinosaur.
Have you ever laughed so hard that no sound comes out and you sit there clapping your hands like a retarded seal?
Ladies: if you argue with your man naked, you will win every single time.
There is a piece of aluminum foil blowing across the road and all I can think is that one of you is without your protective headgear today.
I said "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t." but the judge didn`t buy it.
How dare you incinerate that I don`t know big words.
My laptop has a Miley Virus. It`s stopped twerking.
Morning workout: Turn on treadmill. Untangle headphones for 14 minutes. Get frustrated, leave and eat doughnuts.
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
Tonight I’m trying to get to that happy place right between don’t know my own name and head in the toilet.