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You women may be surprised to learn that making us sleep on the couch isn`t that bad. It`s kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping......with a really angry bear nearby.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
Look at the keyboard. It has `U` and `I` together. Look underneath that. It says `JK`.
I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since I got up… goodnight!
What`s the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
In my porno they`d deliver the pizza after they had sex because otherwise it`d just get cold.
Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids
I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
I know the voices ain`t really, but man, do they ever come up with some great ideas.
Walmart needs observation decks.
When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor’s trash so you don’t get robbed.
Mister Rogers didn`t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
I assume when I get put on hold after I call customer service, it`s because 2 guys are flipping a coin to see who pretends to be the manager.