Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
i dont drink any more and yet again i dont any less either
The reason i connot lie is because i like big butts.
Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
Why isn`t Hungary`s capital city called "Very"
Did you know: Your life expectancy decreases every time you ... PISS ME OFF
Good news I passed my drug test today. But now my drug dealer has some explaining to do.
I went to the doctor for a check up and he says I`m going to live. But I think he`s wrong and it`s just a matter of time.
People would probably piss me off a lot less if I was allowed to drive a tank.
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
Why don`t the post office get the Jehovah`s Witnesses to deliver the mail on Saturday? Work smarter not harder people.
Take Note: a stress ball can be used for throwing at people who stress you out.. You`re Welcome..
To a cop, doing donuts in a parking lot has a whole different meaning.
been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
If you`re crazy and you know it shake your meds...