Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I downloaded this app called "Hide & Go Seek". Ever since then I cant find my damn phone.
A zip line but from the sofa to the fridge
This liquor store needs a dollar menu.
At first it was "Okay" and then "ok" and now "k" and soon it will disappear and you`ll all regret it
Apologizing for canceling a meeting is like saying sorry for buying me a beer.
I gave my boyfriend a glue stick instead of a Chapstick last weekend, and he`s still not talking to me!
Roses are red! violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Snot.
Someone’s therapist knows all about you.
Does Facebook have a β€œYou’re not smart enough to be talking about politics” button?
I must have a great butt because every time I finish talking with someone and start to walk away, I hear them whisper "What an a$$."
I didn`t mean to offend you, that was just a bonus.
Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
My therapist recommended I quit growling at people...
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.
In other news millions of facebook user suddenly got their law degree