Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`. I`ll definitely turn around and look.
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized
96% of my life is spent trying to figure out when I can get my next nap in.
Ok honey don’t freak out, but someone broke into the house, ate all the ice cream, smashed that picture of your mother, and didn’t do the dishes.
If you were a Pokemon, I`d choose you.
This morning I got in touch with my inner self. And that`s also the last time I`ll buy cheap toilet paper...
If I weren´t such an alcoholic I would throw my drink in your face
Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office – I will track you down. You have my Word.
I just found out that all the people who say "You haven`t changed a bit" have been lying to me. :)
Be good ... or I will text Santa
Sorry a remote fell out when you took off my bra
Excellent Group Ice Breaker: Do you think sailors feel pressured to swear?
We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can’t come, let me know.
Next on SportsCenter: Where is Tim Tebow watching the Super Bowl and how will that impact the game?