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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

The only thing worse than a male chauvinistic pig is a woman that won’t do as she is told
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
I took out an ad for a girlfriend recently and 10 guys tried to give me theirs.
I`m outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios.
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
went to the book store earlier to buy a WhereΒ΄s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldnΒ΄t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
My ex got run down by a bus today. I thought "Wow, that could have been me!" but I can`t drive a bus.
The only time I hit the panic button on my car keys is accidentally, and the only person who panics is me.
Do you realize that Scrooge was essentially water-boarded into changing his outlook on Christmas?
When I started out, I was young and idealistic, I wanted a Career and to make a difference in the World, but it turned out that I only wanted Paychecks........
ItΒ΄s Friday!! yea! Oh sorry, I was just practicing.
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
I want a man who loves me for my personality. Is it really to much to ask, I mean I do have several to pick from.
Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now.