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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m on this great new diet where I spend all my grocery money on strippers.
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
What doesn`t kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
If women really knew what men think, there would be restraining orders on all men.
I wonder how many messengers were killed before they came up with the saying.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I`m part of the other 3%.
omg I just found out I`m allergic to exercise...at first I get all flushed, then I break out in a sweat, my heart starts pounding really fast, then I cant breath........i wont be doing that again!
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
Do transformers have health insurance or car insurance???
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
I hate when I`m admiring my good looks from a car`s window reflection and the people inside think I`m staring at them.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus, and now I`m impecunious.