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Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
What I do when I black out is none of my business.
We laughed, we cried, we tried another credit card.
Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it already.
If I were a cashier I`d pretend people were waiting in line to kiss me.
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you`ll get what you want.
In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people.
I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
It’s what’s on the inside that counts, unless you’re talking about one of those hollow chocolate bunnies.
I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you`re good with grammar you`ll get it.
You bring the friendship, I`ll bring the benefits.
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
It’s getting really annoying how eating makes you gain weight..
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well…my phone number for a start.