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Went to the bookstore to pick up a "Where`s Waldo" book today, but couldn`t find any. Well played Waldo, well played...
HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
I`m constantly bombarded with requests to check out `Candy Crush`… well I`ve spent hours searching the porn networks… I can`t bloody find her!
Internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
buying an old Mercedes Benz so that people may think you have been rich all along
If Jesus is the reason for the season.......why is the church parking lot empty and Wal Marts is full?
My kids are always accusing me of having a "favorite child" which is ridiculous because I don`t really like any of them.
If you don`t know me by now....I`m a really good stalker.
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
I admit ive been known to wrap bacon in bacon just for the extra bacon flavor
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.
I`m thinking one of us should probably break the news to the phone book makers that there`s this thing called Google now
Im convinced that one day we will all live in the future.
Whether a Vacuum is on or off, it`s always collecting dust.
Chuck E Cheese: Because it`s never too early to introduce your children to gambling and bad nutrition.