Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
“Let me rephrase this question so I can get pissed off at you all over again.” - WOMEN
I must say I enjoy it more when a girl asks me out. To me, there`s nothing more attractive than that high level of confidence, initiative, and poor judgment.
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
If you can`t fix it with duct tape or beer ... it ain`t worth fixin`
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "AND, you live next door."
Ever wanna tell someone to shut the f*ck up even when they are not speaking
“Shh.. Do you hear that?” “What? I heard nothing.” “Exactly, it’s the sound of no one caring.”
Old is when you start thinking about the things you used to do more than the things you’re going to do.
Just spent 20 minutes on the treadmill without breaking into a sweat......tomorrow I might even switch it on!
When I say “wow, that’s crazy”, 99 percent of the time, it means I haven’t been listening to a word of your conversation.
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.
I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...
Occasionally, I like to take a look through my old status updates and smile at my sparkling wit.