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Women can walk around all day long in a bikini, but God forbid if you see them in their bras and panties. I will never comprehend this.
Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
If we aren`t supposed to be too close to the microwave then why do they show us food twirling around in there?
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I`m making important life decisions.
Once you commit to the idea of a closed casket funeral it really takes a lot of pressure off how you live your life.
WTF, marathoners? I don’t even like to drive 26 miles.
Day 1. I am thankful that I haven`t fallen into the trap of Facebook thankful status updates.
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
If I ever get to an age where the music from the ice cream truck doesn`t make me excited, pull the plug.
Sometimes I do totally awesome and amazing things just to throw people off.