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I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
It`s pretty stupid the way mornings have to come every morning.
Relationship status: I get the remote to myself!
I`ve had frozen pizza and delivery pizza in the same day, b!tch you don`t know me.
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "klondike bar".
You do realize everyone can see your status right?
Just saw the little boy next door licking whip cream off the cat. Pretty sure he heard something he shouldn`t have.
My wife told me her favourite position is when i lay very very still for a few hours........late at night....until the alarm clock goes off in the morning.
There`s nothing like hearing the laughter of a baby. Unless it`s 1AM and you`re home alone.
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V
Studies show than men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. See, it`s a survival thing.
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Independence Day.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with hope that it might magically solve her problems.
The sun and I have an understanding. He gets up before I do.