Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It took dozens and dozens of flushes and a plunger, but my guinea pig`s funeral is finally over.
I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me "sweetie" too.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren`t we helping to find them?
Just saw the book "Marriage for Dummies." ... Shouldn`t there be an "is" in there somewhere?
You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
Wouldn`t it be great to revive the old "Mutual Of Omaha`s Wild Kingdom" show, but with a new setting? Like a WalMart Store in Kentucky?
Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexic?ns!"
Why are there never any good side effects. Just once, I’d like to read a medication bottle that says “May Cause Multiple Orgasms”
Am I supposed to bring condoms to a speed dating event? How fast do these things actually go?
This looks like a job for Superman! -unemployed Superman reading the classifieds
Nothing says "friend zone" quite like a girl saying "you`re like a brother to me." (Disregard this message if you`re from Alabama)
Dear piece of paper that wont go in the dust pan ... f*ck you!
I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...
Want someone to stop texting you? Sleep with them.
Ohio - High in the middle, and round at the ends.