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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If you figure me out I want an explanation.
Who is this "Moderation" they keep telling me to drink with?
Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack.
It`s tough being a people person when you can`t stand most people.
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture play out
β€œBut I read somewhere…” -me about to make some sh!t up.
My daughter is worse than a twitter newbie.. She manually Retweets everything I say... To my wife!
I like to say, "Well, enough with the small talk" before anyone has a chance to speak.
"I`m not drunk" - Biggest Friday Night Lie.
If a worker gets fired & banned from the Lego company, have they been "blocked"?
hmmmm...halo or horns today??
Kim and Kanye have been married WAY longer then I expected.
The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is "compost."
I wouldn`t say I`m a stalker so much as I am a covert observation enthusiast.
How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?