Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
I love work; it fascinates me. I can sit and watch folks do it for hours.
This complimentary lemonade at the doctor`s office tastes funny.
Puttin the `eff it` in efficient today.
Walmart killed the traveling circus.
Christmas trees are like boobs...the fake ones are nice to look at... But the real ones are so much better
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
I hate it when I write a sarcastic Facebook status and someone who doesn’t speak sarcasm has to comment and ruin it.
When people ask for my advice, I advise them not to take my advice. That really screws them up.
“I saw that.” -Karma
I`ve been married twice. The next wife I have will be someone else`s and she can just go home when she`s mad at me.
When people stare at me, I assume its because they are taking notes on how to be a bad a$$ motherf*cker.
Requesting a table in the “Hot Waitress” section should be socially acceptable.
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.
Women and children first because men deserve a little quiet time before the ship sinks.