Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Last night I saw a documentary about beavers. Best dam show I ever watched.
I wasn`t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Apparently Home Depot`s slogan of "You can do it; We can help" doesn`t apply to masturbation.
I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.
If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It`s the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn`t want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...
Alcohol is never the answer...unless, of course, you ask what I`ll be doing tonight.
I was called sexist today. So..i said i think ur mistaken...its pronounced sexy! LOL
I really want to talk to you about how I don`t want to talk to you.
Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
You don’t have to be drunk to love me, but it helps
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be handcuffed next to you saying that was fun
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
Noise canceling toilets should be a thing.