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Sometimes it’s the little victories, like depositing a dollar to avoid overdraw fees that make me feel like a responsible adult.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happening to me, only with beer.
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
There is no number for what just happened in that bathroom.
You guys, how can true love still exist if we don`t have mixed tapes anymore?
is having one of those days where they feels like lighting someones face on fire and then trying to put it out with a fork
I saw a sign at a cafe that said, "shoes must be worn." I was upset, because my shoes were brand new.
Life is simple. Eat. Sleep. Update Facebook status.
Inventor of camping: "Hey, let`s go pretend to be homeless."
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
I dont run from my problems, I chase them ... with alcohol
It`s nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he`s getting hit by a train.
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch yesterday.
I`ve finally stopped drinking for good ... And I`ve started drinking for evil.