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Honey, your haters are imaginary. No one wants to be you. I promise.
Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
To all the people who think they don`t need deodorant: What in the world would make you think that?
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
If Wonder Woman and Spiderman went into business together would they call it Amazon Web Services?
I think once we get past the restraining orders, court dates, and the stalking charges we can really make this relationship work.
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.
This is my first status of 2017. Yeah, I thought it would be better too.
Well that’s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I’m doing
“I wish there was a more convenient way to stalk others”- The phrase that started Facebook.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
i have noticed you notice me noticing you
I am hungry 25 hours a day
Organized people are just to lazy to look for things.