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I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?
Mom: "Why is everything on the floor?" Me: "Gravity, Mom."
Sugar` is the only word in English that starts with `su` and sounds like `sh`. I`m sure of it.
People who drive under the speed limit are probably the same people who drink decaf.
thinks my life is becoming a very complicated drinking game.
Raise the bar..? Like go and drink upstairs..?
If something on this page offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all laugh at you.
If you had to choose between your girlfriend or GTA 5 which character would you play as first?
Not to brag, but I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
I know karate, jujitsu, judo, taekwondo and 28 other dangerous words. Still wanna` mess with me?
They keep telling me theres plenty of fish in the sea, but I havent caught one in years, soooo I continue to sit here, holding my rod.
You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching.
What I lack in vocabulary, I make up for in…you know...stuff...and...things...
Words of Wisdom: Don`t cover your mouth when you sneeze. You`ll get snot and stuff all over your hands