Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
This time change has me all messed up. Driving with my hands at 11 and 3 is hard
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors and all of them got laid.
I wake up every morning with the joy & excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.
My kids keep bugging me about dinner, even after I keep telling them I already ate.
Going to: ? Paris ? New York ? London ? KITCHEN... I`m hungry
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
I`m not sayin you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
Firemen must dread the moment when they`re done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole.
The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don’t check their phone for 3 hours.
Dropped my son off for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you`re supposed to pick them up?