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I`m running out of people I can tolerate!
You learn something new everyday and if you didnt know that then you just did.
PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.
Sometimes, if you believe in something hard enough and deeply enough, nothing happens.
I have every episode of Hoarders saved on DVD.
Appearing on several episodes of Cops doesn`t make you a TV star.
This idiot from Apple reckons that the "Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies
I`d like to be poor for a day, because being poor everyday gets to be real annoying after awhile.
I have a fear of elevators, but I have an even greater fear of exercise.
Life Tip: Hang out with people who make you forget to look at your phone.
The truth might set you free, but lying might keep you out of jail.
"Better to be pissed off than pissed on!" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I`m not angry or covered in piss.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational post are hard.
A girl phoned me the other day and said “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. And the good news is, that`s pretty much everything.