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Don`t talk to me about disappointment. I had lots of adults tell me they were gonna "fix my little red wagon" yet here it sits with a broken wheel still
If running away from my problems counts as exercise then yes, I work out a lot.
I always wonder if the people sitting near me at church every Sunday are unsettled by the fact that I take my communion like a shot of cheap vodka because I`m still in a party mode
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
My phone is covered in cupcake frosting and dried ice cream, in case you were wondering how my life is going.
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
The closest I`ve come to being an athlete is using Adobe Acrobat.
I slept and woke up. (ok, lately this has become a major accomplishment in my life)
Free snow at my house. Shovel all you want!
I keep an identical glass of vodka next to the glass of water on my bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
I always get this dream where I`m driving in reverse ...Then I wake up and see that I`m driving normally.
I saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as "grabbing for swirling dollars inside a Plexiglas Cash Cube."
One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.
People always ask me, where do I come up with my status`, do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs.