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So much of my day is just keeping myself distracted until it`s time to eat again.
Guy asked me where a public phone was. I told him 1987.
Two Best Advices For Safe Life : 1. Always Speak The Truth, No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is ... 2. Run Immediately After Saying It..
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
I was disappointed to learn that the Discovery Channel’s program “Deadliest Catch” wasn’t about first marriages.
I don`t think we do get smarter as we get older. I just think we run out of stupid things to do.
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "AND, you live next door."
I gauge a person’s wealth by the level of protection on their iPhone. No case, huge salary.
went to see the conjuring, and now there`s 10 crosses, four bibles, and a poster of Chuck Norris in my room.
No matter how loud you crank the bass, it`s still a minivan.
I prefer not to think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
I wonder how often I’ve narrowly avoided death without even noticing.
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Roses are cars, violets are buckets. This poem makes no sense. Eyeballs.
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?