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Stress balls really work when you shove them down someone`s throat.
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I`d probably pick living.
What do sleeping and sex have in common? ... I`m not getting nearly enough of either.
You’d think with as much time women spend looking at their ass in the mirror, they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
Truth is, it’s not a “long story”… I’m just too damn lazy to explain it.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
"Hey homie!" - How I greet my house whenever I arrive.
Nice try salad bars, there`s only one kinda bar I plan on attending.
I don`t mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...
There is no logical reason why short pants should cost the same as long pants.
I hear you`ve been very naughty ... Go to my room!
Hey, sorry I`m late ... I didn`t want to come
That moment when being uncool, is cool
Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That`s 9 years in a row now...