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The 5 second rule for food dropped on the ground does not work if you have a 2 second dog.
I am a little worried that every "evacuation route" sign is leading away from my house.
I never thought I’d be the kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise... and I was right.
Hey bartender, pour me another, I see ugly people.
“People will believe anything if you whisper it.”
Leftover bacon? Lol that’s up there with unicorns, leprechauns, and soulmates.
If you´re cooler than me, doesnt that make me hotter than you?
I wish conversations were like user agreements, where I could skip to the end and just agree.
With all the botched executions lately, it has been suggested that we bring back the guillotine. But if we do that I`m sure heads will roll.
The first rule of elevator club is don`t talk to other members of elevator club.
I`m disgusted by the thought of people updating their status while sitting on the toilet like I am right now.
When setting the table, does the remote go to the left or the right of the dinner plate?
I wouldn`t say I`m a stalker so much as I am a covert observation enthusiast.
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears