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You make me want to be a better class of psycho.
I`m just a few smartphone apps away from never having to talk to anyone again.
Remember the good old days when making the “duck face” involved 2 Pringles?
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
There was a sense of accomplishment finishing the daily newspaper. I literally have no idea when I`m supposed to stop reading the internet.
A coworker wouldn`t stop bragging about her upcoming trip to Hawaii, so I emailed her a bunch of pictures of plane crashes.
Zombies only eat brains. You’re safe.
There`s a word for people like you ... "leave"
What if 11:11 actually works but there`s one person in this world that`s wishing for everyone`s wishes to not come true?
At work, sometimes I secretly brew decaf coffee in the normal pot so that everyone else works at my pace.
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said “too ugly to prostitute”
I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I love to punch in the face.
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
I don`t want it to seem like I`m trying to get rid of you, but GO AWAY!!