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All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
"F@ck It" has gotten me through a lot of situations.
You guys make Facebook worth it! Just kidding, we are all wasting our lives.
It’s not that I’m old, your music really does suck.
Note to self: Next time, don`t use "continue" as the Safe Word.
This empty wallet looks like I`ll be laughing obnoxiously at some guy`s awful jokes in a bar tonight.
I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL
The word “fireplace” really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
Anything is possible with the right attitude and a sledgehammer
Tequila... It`s not just for breakfast anymore...
Fruit cocktail is the most disappointing of all the cocktails.
Never trust a man wearing more than 0 necklaces.
If the shoe fits, buy it.
Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid people
Just saw the previews for the movie Taken 3, you would think by now he would`ve gave his daughter self-defense and gun lessons?