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I still miss my ex. But my aim is gettin` better.
If you could have all of Bill Gates` money or world peace, what colour would your Lamborghini be?
When I die I want my body donated to science; specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead people back to life
It isn`t a successful BBQ until an intoxicated idiot runs face first into a sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
Sometimes words just aren`t enough. And that`s why we have middle fingers.
I’m working on my resume. Should I use the term “mad skillz” or would “mad skills” be more formal?
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up.
Any fool can use a computer ... Many do
I was admiring my six pack in the mirror for two hours,then it got cold and I put it in the fridge
With so many things coming back in style, I can`t wait until morals and intelligence become a trend again.
I`m one of the nicest a$$holes you could ever hope to meet.
Instead of going to Starbucks, I like to make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
You can’t run from your problems forever. Eventually, you’ll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them.