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Got a problem with me? I’m pretty sure a status on Facebook won’t fix it.
If I was a mortician I`d tie the shoe laces of dead people together, so if there ever was a zombie apocalypse it would be hilarious.
why are the foods you want eat late at night in loud crackling wrappers?
If weed is ever legalized, I can`t wait to see the commercials...
My dog’s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I’d like it to be.
I`ll be a morning person when it`s Christmas.
Dodgeball, but with random people who don`t know that they are playing..............
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low…Well, sure, it’s hard to steal a car when the owner’s living in it…
It was all so different before everything changed.
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
I`m starting to doubt that all of the people in this singing group are called Carol.
People who walk in front of the theatre screen while you`re watching a pirated movie on your computer are so rude.
Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
Ahh..Monday, so we meet again ... You dirty bitch!!
Saw a wasp in a spider web and I don`t know who to root for.