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Is the CEO of Kraft also known as The Big Cheese?
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
Saying, "We need to talk," is the most efficient way to freak someone out
WTF, marathoners? I don’t even like to drive 26 miles.
I had to go on two diets because one wasn`t giving me enough food.
Slutty girls are like Walmarts, everyone makes fun of them but when you`re inside one at 4am you think, i`m glad these are here.
Since it is the day to give thanks, I would like to say once again...you`re welcome.
I`ll be damned if after the 5 longest minutes of my life i am going to "allow to cool in microwave for 1 minute"!
Knock knock... whos there? Cows go... Cows go who, No, cows go moo
If there’s one thing that having kids will teach you, it’s home repair.
If you give up smoking, drinking, and sex, you don’t live longer, just seems longer.
Just dropped off some film to be processed. More on this story as it develops.
Honey, You really don`t need to drive me crazy, I am close enough to walk.
has a drinking problem...I can`t afford it
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.