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If I work up the courage to tell you I love you...the least you can do is introduce yourself to me dammit.
Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
What if every time a song pops into your head, it’s really just your brain intercepting one of the bajillion radio signals bouncing around you?
Synonym: Word used in place of the one you can`t spell.
A lie is just a great story that someone ruined by telling the truth.
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
lifes like a box of chocolates, never know whatcha gonna get (:
Sometimes I sit and wonder what the world would be like if I wasn`t awesome ... That would be scary.
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
A mosquito landed on my balls... Hardest decision of my life.
People in glass houses can throw whatever they want. They live in a glass house, I`m not expecting them to be practical
I`m more indecisive than a John in a brothel with gold credit card.
If couples who are in love are called `love birds.` Then couples who always argue should be called `angry birds.`
Now if you’ll excuse me, tonight’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.