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Wrapping these baby carrots in Tootsie Roll wrappers is exhausting but the payoff will be worth it come Halloween.
Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.
They’re called scents, not flavors, I should not able to taste your perfume or cologne.
Facebook is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.
When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn´t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
There are dozens of different flavors of ramen noodles, but they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
I`ve come to believe that everyone on Earth could benefit from a 12 step program.
I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50.
Do you know what’d look good on you? Me
I`m absolutely nailing this "I give a sh!t" face today!
FYI....just in case something happens.....The cashier at the liquor store down the street is my emergency contact person.
Oh the weather outside is frightful, And this booze is damn delightful
The majority of life`s greatest lessons are learned while observing your drunk friends.
Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now.