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Why doesn’t McDonalds have an order taking microphone on both sides of the car, yet?
WHAT DO WE WANT!!! A cure for hangovers WHEN DO WE WANT IT!!! Please stop yelling
Dear Mother Nature, I would like to cancel my monthly subscription please… Urs Sincerely, 100% OF ALL WOMEN IN THE WORLD!
When you`re tucking your kids in at night, read them a few select Facebook statuses, kiss them on the forehead and whisper "This is why we must stay in school."
Wishing a happy unbirthday to everybody who`s birthday isn`t today.
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..
I`m thinking about starting a vegetarian dance club... I`m going to call it "lettuce turnip the beets". What do you think?
It`s funny how my car drives slower on the way to work, than when I`m on my way home.
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
I will never repeat filthy rumors. So listen closely the first time.
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to
I was going to buy my first pair of Jordans.. Until I saw the price.. So I decided to make a car payment instead!
Saw a chameleon today, so I`m assuming it wasn`t a very good one.
That`s it!! I`m never drinking again until tomorrow.
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.