Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
*Financial Status* Just rinsed off a paper plate...
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
Sometimes it’s just easier to eat the last slice of pizza than fit the box in the fridge.
Saying that your company has been in business since the 1800`s isn`t a selling point. Slavery existed then too...
Your shadow: What happens when light travels 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet by you.
Remember this when you are drunk: You can`t fall off the floor.
I wonder if dogs ever wake up in the morning and think "dear god please don`t take me jogging with you today"?
The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
it`s a fact that flies on screens are not afraid of cursors
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.
You know that really private/embarrassing stuff you say to your girlfriend when no one else is around? Her friends know all that sh!t.
I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.