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Aging is inevitable, Maturing is optional.
Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite.
Never do I feel as lazy and rude as when someone else in the room is vacuuming.
It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
I`m not ignoring you, I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being.
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
"Who`s this clown?" - every guy about every other guy who is in a photo with a girl we like
Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to prevent me from savagely beating my coworkers with a keyboard.
I think every Taco Bell value meal should be called a "Number 2".
My stalker twisted his ankle, so now I have to walk slower for 2-3 weeks.
Auto correct changed "group hug" to "grope hug" and I`m not in charge of the team-building exercises any more.
When I say lol, I don`t literally mean I laughed out loud. What I actually mean is that I made a loud outward breath through my nose, similar to a bull.
How can I be expected to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count?
I don`t know exactly who`s health I`m drinking to, but they`re going to be immortal at this rate
Let’s be the generation that stops putting things in our butts and having to go to the emergency room to get them taken out, shall we?