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That awkward moment when You accidentally hit the LIKE button During Facebook stalking.
"Oh Sh!t, Was That Today?" my autobiography
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Unlike milk, it is acceptable to cry over spilled beer.
Eventually, some poor astronaut is going to crash into all that Star Wars writing
It’s impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
When in darkness, pray. If you pray and nothing happens, I think it is the high time you paid your electricity bill.
Sorry I didn`t answer when you called, I had 6 Peeps in my mouth
I liked you a lot more before I met you.
When everything is coming your way ... You`re in the wrong lane.
All who post weather maps on FB. You know we have the internet too, right??
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%
The girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.. so I went out and got drunk.
In the morning there`s a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.
I eat my gummy bears 2 at a time ..no one should die alone