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Who is this "Moderation" they keep telling me to drink with?
Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
NERD WEDDING: Instead of saying “I do.” They say “I accept the terms & conditions.”
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
The male version of a tramp stamp should be called a douche tag.
This one isnt that funny, keep scrolling.
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s ass to fall off.
If I haven’t embarrassed myself in front of you… don’t worry, it’ll happen.
The bouncer from my local nightclub calls me Macaulay Culkin because I always go home alone.
Whoever said "What goes around, comes around", never passed around a bag of Doritos......................
You think having periods is hard? ... Try being on a 24 hour killstreak on Call of Duty with itchy balls.
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.
I thought 50 shades of gray was just a makeup application guide for goth chicks