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Whatever I did to make you hate me, I’d like to know. I have other people I can use that on.
This status was brought to you by me being bored on the toilet.
I got some new underwear. Well, new to me...
If you don`t pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as "that weird thing I did for a while."
Now that "twerk" has been added to the dictionary, I can`t wait for a Spelling Bee judge to be asked to use it in a sentence.
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
Alcohol makes me worse at everything except telling secrets
I’m bored enough to clean.
I don’t think we can get through adulthood without a good sense of humor and a strong middle finger.
If the world dosen`t end on the 21st, I sure do have a lot of MREs to gift wrap.
Why are clothes so expensive? I shouldn`t have to pay so much to not be naked. Other people should pay me not to be naked.
If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can`t have a headache and sex at the same time?
If guys had periods, they´d brag about the size of their tampons.
Good thing I got a college degree I think as I put away the kid toys for the 49 billionth time