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Looking for one night stand! Probably need two! I have a lot of books
Sometimes, I use big words I don`t always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
Caller ID should be more detailed~ "Wants Help Moving" "Going to Whine" "Will Ask to Borrow Money"
I can`t get the cork off my dinner.
This town has more white trash in it than a dumpster behind a paper plate factory
Why does Facebook even give me the option to `Like` my own status? Of course I like my status, I`m F*ck!ng Hilarious! ...and Sexy.
You’re not in a serious relationship until he leaves you in a room alone with his phone.
Stalking is such a strong word. I perfer the term surveillance expert.
TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
Ironing boards are just surf boards that gave up their dreams and got real jobs.
There is a gym called Anytime Fitness. I choose 2030.
Personally, I think failure should be an option
You know I feel the frustration that The Skipper endured because there are days that I too am surrounded by Gilligans
It only takes one person to ruin it for everyone...Be that person.
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!