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If Facebook was school I swear we would all have perfect attendance.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
Some women need to realize that showing cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough.
Me: GUESS WHO BOUGHT A MEGAPHONE!? Neighbor: Get out of my house! Me: You`re not even guessing.
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
Ladies, Admit it. Sometimes you look down at your own boobs and think "Wow, these are Awesome!"
If I can`t convince you, I will sure as hell confuse you.
Her dad said he`d like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me.
Where did all the people walking around with boomboxes in the 80s go? I`m concerned
One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I`m going to visit.
That Awkward Moment when you’re being sarcastic and someone believes you.
Just shaved my legs for the first time since October...just kidding, it`s not warm enough for that yet.
I want you to know that whatever problems you`re having, I`m here to read about it on Facebook