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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
I always read my wife`s Horoscope to see what kind of day I`M going to have...!!
I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
I can’t hang out tonight because I’m done with people for the day.
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
The monent of triumph when your bag is the first off the plane.
Every time I hear the phrase, "Fire at will!", I can`t help but wonder, "What did Will do?!"
I`ve never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.
Peppermint schnapps might seem like a ridiculous drink, but nobody at work ever complains about my breath.
I get very annoyed when people mix up there, they`re and their. From now on I`m going to point it out, weather they like it or not.
Just remember, outside of that beautiful slim bride on her wedding day there’s a fat woman just waiting to get in.
If Wendy`s think their square burgers are so awesome, why don`t they use square buns?
In your face with a can of mace, make you cry all over the place!!
You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancee by the way he hasn`t murdered her