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When we are small, our mom`s would use really small forks as spoons to feed us...But what about Chinese moms? Would they use toothpicks?
If you lose your shoe at the end of the night, you’re not Cinderella. You’re probably just drunk.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
Nice try Jehovah’s Witnesses but dressing up like cops and telling me you have a warrant is not going to get me to open my door.
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy
I really think that Caller ID needs to be more detailed. It should say things like "Wants help moving" or "Will whine about bad relationship."
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
Don’t piss off old people. The older they get, the less ‘life in prison’ is a deterrent.
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible.
I see you’re playing stupid. Looks like you’re winning too.
If tomatoes are classed as a fruit, then doesnt that mean that ketchup is technically a smoothie? ... hmmm
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.