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Men are like dogs. We`re excited to see you, and we have no idea what you`re mad about.
Synonym: Word used in place of the one you can`t spell.
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "lottery winner".
I once overdosed on Viagra. My wife took it really hard.
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
I know the voices aren`t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
"Thank God!!! They are finally taking these damn rubber bands off." -The last thing a lobster thinks.
And all this time I thought a chickpea was when women went to the bathroom in groups.
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
The hardest part of carving a pumpkin nowadays is finding some newspaper to spread
How dare the NFL build walls to keep fans that haven`t paid for a ticket from entering the game!
One of the biggest decisions when you go to college is whether to join a fraternity or just be an asshole on your own.
If booze isn`t the answer, then your question sucks.
A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that Iām married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.
Why has no one invented a button next to snooze which emails your boss to say you`re gonna be late?