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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
Don’t underestimate my ability to do absolutely nothing.
You seem to love cocktails... or part of it.
Saw my Ex with some guy at a bar last night... so I ordered a beer, took a few sips then gave her date the rest of my drink... Walked away.
great day! laundry done, dishes and house cleaned.... who am I kidding? been drinking since 9 am!!
My worst fear is seeing one of my statuses marked as "exhibit A"
I could of sworn my pillow`s a hairdreeser...coz I always wake up with the craziest hairstyles!! :D
There’s always that last setting on your windshield wipers that makes you go “damn, calm the f*ck down!”
10 years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
I honestly don’t care if you think I’m crazy. You’re just a figment of my imagination anyway.
For the record "Wanna do it?" is not foreplay....
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me " maybe life isn`t for everyone"
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
Ugh, stalkers are horrible. You`d think someone could`ve let me know I was out of toilet paper.