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A person who says they will never lie to you is probably lying already.
Weird when someone vanishes from your Facebook feed for 3 years then suddenly reemerges with the results of a "Which Muppet Are You?" quiz.
Alcoholic? No. Self-appointed booze quality control technician? Yes.
To all the people who think they don`t need deodorant: What in the world would make you think that?
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually dont have one
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
If the shoe fits, wear it. Unless they`re not yours. But you can still were them. It`s just a road test, after all.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes...
My road to success is under construction and all the workers are out getting sh!tfaced.
If your pet has its own FB page, it might be time for a reality check...
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.