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I bought a $300 dollar tent so I can camp outside Best Buy for 3 days to save $20 on a TV.
Say what you want about Kim and Kanye naming their daughter North West. That kid is headed straight to the top. And slightly to the left.
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
Puttin the `eff it` in efficient today.
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
I love to start my day by getting on Facebook to see who is a whiny little bi!ch today.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Breakfast in bed probably means you are dating someone. Dinner in bed means you`re probably single.
If love is blind....why is lingerie so popular?
I always wince when someone tells me they’re going to hit the sack.
Sometimes I think these Kardashians are just doing stuff for the attention.
Bowling is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
I don`t use my cell phone in the car... I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?