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Today`s big idea - Coffee eye drops
I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
You`d think my boss would know me by now and stop asking me everyday if I`ve been drinking.
I lent my girlfriend ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now she left me and I don’t know what she looks like.
That weird moment when u just say "what`s up " to someone and they thing you`re a shrink.
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
Some mornings it`s best just to fill the sink with coffee, dunk you head in, and suck.
Your name should be Gelette because you`re the best a man can get
No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
I spend 800% of my life exaggerating.
How can there be more horses asses than there are horses?
It`s always nice to be called Pretty in the morning. So what if he was hiding behind the trash wearing no pants.
I have a PHD (Pretty Huge d*ck)
I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn`t matter. It`s all good. But a Pepsi drinker...