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If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
Smooth move.........ExLax
If McDonald`s was smart they`d serve breakfast until 2pm on the weekends.
Just moisturized my hands and now I can`t get out of the bathroom. Send help.
I almost got raped in jail last night. My family takes Monopoly very seriously.
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
A moment of silence to all the kids who can’t wait to become a teenager because they think it’s fun..
It scares me when the lights go out and it`s complete darkness. The first thing I think is ... OMG I just went blind!
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.
People who get offended on the internet are the same people who take mini golf seriously.
Drinking Tip: Never buy the first round cause that`s when people care what they`re drinking!
If women kept their feelings to themselves would they explode? Guess we`ll never know.
A fun way to "Break up" is to tell them to "Go long" and then never throw them the football.