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Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn`t reach very far.
The closer you are to the toilet, the harder it is to hold it in.
I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it.
I didn’t give you the finger. You earned it.
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain realizes what I`m doing.
Statistics show the number one cause of failed relationships is opening your mouth and letting words come out.
Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
When you can no long help someone, I can - said the coroner.
Thanks to the popularity of gifs, we are living in the golden age of silent films.
My friends says that I spend too much time talking to random people online. What do you guys think?
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic. But the cop didn`t think so.
I don’t call it laying down anymore, I call it landscape mode.
I am sorry I wasn`t being completely honest when I said I was normal.