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If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
People treat New Year’s like some sort of life changing event. If your life sucks today, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow ... Just sayin
2017 didn`t need that extra hour back.
ROFL!!….. LOL jk i’m still in my chair.
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
All alcohol will make my clothes fall off… tequila just makes that happen in public.
Online personality tests are pretty self-explanatory… If you’re taking the test, chances are you don`t have one.
Zoning out is your brain’s way of saying “You look bored. Let me take you to a better place.”
The relationship was going so well until I left my phone unlocked.
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem solver.
Tried to borrow some bread from my Indian neighbour, but he said he had naan....
People who say you can´t buy happiness just don´t know where to shop.
Wow, it`s beautiful outside. I should probably do something. Like close the blinds so there isn`t a glare on my screen.
Probably a good thing I`m not a ghost cause I`d just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.