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The high cost of livin ain`t nothin like the cost of livin high
My girlfriend said she wasn`t impressed and felt she needed a man with at least 6 inches. So I folded it in half.
Talking louder does not make you any less wrong.
If each day is a gift, I`d like to know where I can return Monday.
A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
Coffee : Starter fluid for the morning impaired.
My hand is stuck in a Pringles can. I`ll just leave it there. I`m not hiding who I am anymore.
so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?
My doctor just told me I was suffering from paranoia, well he didn`t actually say that, but I could tell it was what the bastard was thinking.
My wife has spent all day arguing that she isn`t stubborn...
Either my cat is speaking English or that was not a vitamin I took....
Girl: I have changed my mind. Boy: Thank God! Does the new one work?
I got a new marker today that smells like grapes. Thats why I`ve been so quiet.
If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.
I took the "Which 90`s Cartoon Are You?" quiz and got "You`re a fucking grown man. Stop it. Right now."