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I`m amazed at the mileage my car is getting. I`m still running off the same tank of gas I bought last year!
I miss being able to use the excuse "I wasn`t home when you called."
that moment when somebody calls your house phone and ask where you are
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
"Teeter Totter" is the silliest name for toddler catapults.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said bet you can`t hit me with a quarter!
Jack The Ripper would be a great name for a fitness trainer.
Never piss off a woman on her period...scratch that...Never piss off a woman, period.
The computers were down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards to play solitaire.
My mom says I`m special.
"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.
Here`s a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management
The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.
Just read an article about a new species of spider in Sri Lanka that is the size of an average human`s face. In an unrelated matter, I have decided to NEVER visit Sri Lanka.
Saying "cool" also means, I don`t give a sh!t.