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I`ve spent approximately 2% of my life walking back to the trash can and checking the box to see how long I need to microwave my food.
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you.
All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
I like it like that
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
Being fat is when you watch Jurassic Park and wonder if dinosaur tastes good.
Yadot rorrim eht fo edis gnorw eht no pu ekow I. (I woke up on the wrong side of the mirror today.)
Happy "Another excuse to drink" Day!
Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. I’m gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
Just as I predicted, today was in fact a new day!
Don`t talk about yourself so much... we`ll do that when you leave.
Divorce is what happens when two people win an argument.
If you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape.
I`m having an out of money experience.
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about