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It`s kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn`t
With everything going on lately... I`ve got a lot of serious thinking to do! Oops....Did I say "Thinking".... I meant "Drinking"!!
Just heard about the Obamacare deadline and I`m freaking out. I have so many questions. Who is Obama?
If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)
Do you ever think about sh!t you did in the past and just go why the f*ck did nobody punch me in the face?
Ladies, when it comes to stalking, I`m 100% behind you.
Summer is almost over...All you half-naked people are gonna need to find a personality.
It`s a good thing Taylor Swift and Adele aren`t dating. Imagine if they broke up.
The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
I ate a shepherd`s pie for lunch. He was pretty upset about it.
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
Speed bumps can turn into speed ramps depending on who`s car I`m borrowing.
You know you are meant to be when you high five after sex.
I hate people who take drugs ... Customs for example.
Billion dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell "I`m just cooking!"