Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel, that`s why I like you.
Enough with the lies, people who drink decaf coffee, tell us what your game plan is.
May the bridges I burn light the way.
It`s only a 4 way stop if each driver can read
When a couple asks me for directions,I know that the wife is forcing the guy to ask.That`s why I give them wrong ones to teach her a lesson.
How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card??
I don`t think America should elect a president in 2016. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.
what is the difference between a Fly and a mosquito? ``A fly can fly, But a Mosquito can`t mosquito``
You say Iām not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If Iām not cold, Iām hot. I know Iām hot. Thanks for embracing it.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
I thought `Pokemon` was a Jamaican Porn... My bad...
Crazy is like diarrhea. You can only hold it in for so long.
You might call it lazy ... I call it selective participation.
When people say they work like a dog, I look at mine and think they must mean they just lay around all day and poop wherever they feel like.
One night, as I as lying in bed, I looked up at the stars and thought to myself: "What the f#ck happened to the roof?"