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Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
Any psycho girls wanna hang out? Just text me like 5000 times and let me know.
Two days is not enough time for a weekend.
I’m the kind of guy who dreams about naps while I’m asleep.
Is it wrong to put leftover Halloween candy in their Easter baskets?
Don`t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you`re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
"Friendzoned" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
Note to Self: In future interviews, don`t say "Safe in your strong arms" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.
Anyone want to be fake engaged for two hours so we can eat cake samples?
I really just need a vodka cranberry and a slap on the a$$. Hold the cranberry.
“The darndest things.” -kids
I just ate 3 whole chickens ... they were hard boiled.
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
in wine there is wisdom. in beer there is freedom. in water there is... umm bacteria